Drunk...

Got myself drunk yesterday... no idea since when I allowed my old self to surface back to haunt me... maybe right from the first sip of the wine... no idea what had happened, only know that the heart was extremely painful and I was crying out loud for help... I remember calling dar dar but I guess he was too busy with his mahjong to bother about my pain... called ah bee I can't remember what I was talking about to her... but thanks to her I manage to pass throught the tide of pain. I guess I'm weak... I know very well its not the matter of the breakup anymore.. rather its a matter of some of the facts that I could not accept... I felt defeated... I felt foolish... and all these makes me hate myself and get angry with myself...